Enny Gabriela is a young Honduran woman who has lived with her family in the United States for approximately 11 years. In this interview, she explains a family migration process that took place "in stages" and that lasted several years. Among other things, she recounts some of the clashes she had when she arrived with the U.S. educational system, since she reached the age of 15.
How did you come to the United States?
I arrived 11 years ago, when I was 15, turned 15 in October and moved in November. My dad lived here and my brothers and I lived in Honduras with my mom. My dad went to bring us here and I moved in with my dad and my older brother. My younger brother and my mom stayed in Honduras. So we are all Honduran citizens.
Why did your family migrate to the United States?
The way I see it, is that I don't think that in Honduras we had an economic problem, I wasn't rich there, as we say "de la alta". But I never lacked anything either. I had the opportunity to travel, to explore, I never lacked food or clothes. It was simply the dynamic, that my father had processed our documents and they left and gave us six months to travel before they expired. So, we traveled to see how it was going, but actually we ended up staying. I don't have a story that strong that I crossed the border and stuff. My dad does, I don't, because of the sacrifice he made, I was able to travel with a residence.
Your dad came here first as an undocumented immigrant?
Yeah, he came here undocumented when I was less than a year old. Whenever I ask him why he did it, my dad says it was because his brothers were here and he wanted to see if maybe he could give us a better life. My mom says it's because they were going through an economic crisis. So they both have a different story, because my dad didn't think we were going through economic crises, he just came to see if we had a better life, not that we needed something better.
What was it like for a 15-year-old girl to leave her hometown?
At first it was exciting because it was the first time I was traveling to the United States. You have this image of America from movies, magazines, music videos, that everything is good, that everything is glamorous. So, I always liked to travel and I was very excited. We came to see how it was going, to study, not that I didn't want to come, but it was because I thought it was going to be temporary.
What did you think when they told you it wasn't temporary anymore?
It happened little by little. My dad enrolled me and my older brother in a school while we were waiting for the process of my mom's residency to be finalized because when my dad started it my little brother wasn't there. Then, he was born and his papers took a little longer. So, my mom had to stay with him and we were waiting for them to come. That took a year and a half, but then she came. However, she then had to go back because she works there. Now she travels. I don't know, it was something that happened. They already knew we were going to stay, but we were 15 and my brother was 16, so we didn't think about it at the time.
In general, a common factor that I find in all migrants is that all those who come as documented and undocumented, come for a while. Especially the undocumented, they come for 3 or 4 years to work, get money, build their house and leave. But then here they form a family or they didn't save as they had planned, they didn't manage to build their house in those three years and now their family has a dependency on the remittances they are sending. So that four-year plan is like the common thing with what everyone comes with, but it doesn't end up being a reality.
When you first went to school, did you have any shocks?
We lived in a rural area, very Italian. It's known as the "Little Italian" in New Jersey, it's called Hammonton and the only thing there is a lot of blueberry and peach crops. In the school where I went there were several people from Mexico, from Puerto Rico, there was only one Honduran student in the school, but her last year was my first year. So for practically the entire time we were there we were the only Hondurans in the school. There were some clashes with classmates at the beginning. Because, although I didn't understand very well, I was always very active, so I tried to get involved with the clubs, with the groups, and there were many things I didn't understand and nobody explained them to me.
Many times I was told to speak English, that I was in the United States, to learn English. Obviously, the education system here is very different from what I was used to. There are different levels of classes, I didn't understand that. So, the clash with the education system was very big.
Can you illustrate this with a particular situation?
I have several. First of all, the school faculty itself does not expect anything from immigrant students. They don't pay attention to them because they really think you're not going to get anywhere, you don't want to study, you're not interested. My counselor, who was supposed to be helping me go to college or something, told me that it wasn't necessary, that I could go to a two-year college only, that I didn't have to take the exams that the other students were taking, because that college didn't need them.
She didn't think I could go to a four-year college and do well. The faculty doesn't expect anything from you. There are three types of classes and they put you in the lowest one and nothing else. So you get through, you get out, and after four years it's not their problem anymore.
How was your relationship with your father, when you lived in Honduras, without having physical contact with him? How often did you see him?
He came when I was less than a year old and returned when I was 5 years old the first time, when his documents were processed. I remember that when he came to the house, I didn't know him. I knew who my dad was, I talked to him on the phone, but when that person came, a man I had never seen before, I was suspicious of him for a long time. That's a story we always tell and we laugh. Although I didn't know him, obviously, as time went by I got used to him, I grew fond of him, we talked a lot and he traveled a lot since his residency came out. He went every Christmas, he went at Easter, 2 or 3 months a year, so we always had contact with him. My mom always made him part of the house for everything.
That routine became normal, because we were very close to his family. So, we practically grew up with his family and his mom. So, he was always, even though he wasn't physically there, he was always there for any leave, any outing, my mom always talked to him, anything we did wrong, he always knew. My mom always included him a lot.
What things do you consider to have transformed your identity from the time you left Honduras until now?
I've noticed a change, but it's not just about being here. It has to do with the fact that I grew up and learned things that I didn't understand. I've always been bothered by the favouritism of men in my country, and when I came here I was able to understand what machismo is, the gender difference and inequality. Then my eyes opened, but I also think it would have happened in my country when I grew up.
I've been exposed to different cultures, different types of people that in Honduras I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet, to be more open-minded, to understand that there are more people in the world, that you are not just one, and to see that many times the ideas and points of view that you have are limited to the information that you have at that moment. When I sometimes talk to my family who are in Honduras about different topics, I can see that their vision is limited because they have limited information. Since I have contact with more people, maybe I think differently.
What do you miss most about Honduras?
The quality of life. I never went hungry there, my story is not the one that makes everyone cry, I don't have that story. I had everything I needed there, I could go out whenever I wanted, I went to the river with my family, I had that closeness to family, that freedom. I think that quality of life and freedom that was felt there.
In what way don't you feel free here?
Because here you can't make noise, you can't walk on the grass, there are many things that you have to be more careful about because that can bother people. Here you practically live indoors, and part of that has to do with the weather. You can't get out so easily because of the timetables and things like that. The culture here likes to be more alone, more isolated.
What American customs have you acquired?
One has a bad habit of associating good things with being white. Talking good about being white, dressing good about being white. I don't know, maybe I feel that when you go to parties. You go to parties and you come with four plates of food, now I feel that that is not necessary, you go to the party, you eat your food and you leave. I don't know, but it's because I try not to associate things with culture. Maybe not so loud.
How often do you travel to Honduras?
With my mom we travel a lot, we don't have a pattern, but it has been given that every two years we travel. We haven't decided, we just take the trip and do it.
Hasn't the rest of your family thought about traveling and coming to live in the United States?
My father's two brothers were here, but they were never able to process their papers here and they returned, so they can't come here anymore. Most of my family members have tourist visas and they come and go, but I have an aunt who recently moved here because of the insecurity in Honduras. They were being victims of extortion, just because. They denounced the person, the person was in jail for three years, but when he got out he wanted revenge because they put him in jail. Then he started chasing them and they had to come. They are the only ones who have come to stay here.
If you had children, would you educate them in the Latino culture?
Definitely, because I think it would be important for them to have that Hispanic identity, that Honduran identity, because it's part of who they would be. I don't know much about the native Honduran culture because the native culture there was stolen and lost with colonization. However, the little I do know, I would like to pass it on, even to my younger brother. In fact, when he came, he was 4 years old and the first language he learned to read and write was English, to speak was Spanish. But, I taught him to write and read in Spanish. So, I would teach my children to write and read in Spanish too. I would always keep them with their culture, the Hispanic culture will always be part of my home. I feel very proud to be Hispanic, to be Honduran. Also, I don't know much about Honduran culture, but what little I do know, I try to keep it alive.
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